


You Are My Sunshine

by anotherfngrl



Series: Sunshine Universe [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Has ADHD, Alexander Hamilton Has No Chill, Alexander Hamilton is a Little Shit, Alexander Hamilton is a Mess, Alexander Hamilton needs an adult, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Daddy Issues, Dysfunctional Family, Eventual Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Family, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Issues, Gay John Laurens, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens is a Good Mom, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Past Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, alexander hamilton is a good dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherfngrl/pseuds/anotherfngrl
Summary: It's been over a month of Alexander Hamilton's charming contrition and much less charming failure to pick Pip up on time when John decides something has to give.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Alexander Hamilton & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton & Phillip Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, John Laurens & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, John Laurens & Phillip Hamilton, Phillip Hamilton & Theodosia Burr
Series: Sunshine Universe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002852
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	1. John Has A Plan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [withlove_sid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/withlove_sid/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Ballet of Sunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413449) by [withlove_sid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/withlove_sid/pseuds/withlove_sid). 



> Sid has become a dear friend and a welcoming voice and writing buddy in this fandom, and I wanted to write something for him! His adorable ballet universe seemed like the place to do it, so with his permission, I've been playing around with these precious characters!

It's been over a month of Alexander Hamilton's charming contrition and much less charming failure to pick Pip up on time when John decides something has to give.

He's considered just calling Alex twenty minutes before class lets out and telling him to come. But then, one week when Alex is late yet again, he calls, Alex apologizes… and doesn't arrive. Half an hour later, he calls again and discovers Alex had been rushing to pack up his things when an important call came in and he'd gotten distracted. Again.

Besides that, what about Pip's other after school activities? Sure, John is fond enough of the scattered single father (and especially of his precious jelly bean) to call him every class. But Pip's art teacher doesn't feel the same way. No, calling Alexander with reminders might make the visible problem disappear for _John,_ but it won't solve the larger problem- Alex's tendency to forget the rest of the world, including his son, when he's working.

He approaches Eliza with a hairbrained scheme when Alex and Pip leave, along with her _next_ class, which is letting out by the time Alexander gets the _second_ call and makes it back to Ballet of Sunshine.

"What if we just… kept him?" he asks his boss.

"Phillip?" she says, frowning in confusion.

John nods. "I think-"

"Alexander is a good father, John. He's just a bit scattered," Eliza assures him, looking wary.

"I'm not suggesting turning him over to CPS. But what if we just… didn't call, next week? We tell your friend at the café not to warn him, either. We wait until he realizes. Maybe it'll be a big enough shock he'll get his act together," John suggests.

"What about Pip?" she questions.

"He hangs out with me. I've already got a coloring book and a couple of Happy Meal toys I keep at the desk for him. If Hamilton's outrageously late, I'll order Door Dash and we'll have dinner at my desk so he eats at a reasonable time," John offers.

"Why go to so much trouble?" his boss asks next.

"Alex has gotten used to us picking up the slack, for his memory. That's fine when it's us, we keep our jelly bean safe. But Pip knows he's the only kid who never gets picked up on time. That's going to bother him more, the older he gets. And what about when Alex needs to pick him up from somewhere less invested in the kid's wellbeing? I don't want this to be something Pip talks about in therapy twenty years from now," John confesses, remembering his own workaholic father's many forgotten promises and pick ups and thinking of how they've shaped his adult life.

"You think it's necessary?" Eliza asks.

John swallows hard and looks his boss in the eye. "I do. For both of their sakes. If Alex ever forgets Pip somewhere more dangerous, he'll never forgive himself. And that sweet little boy needs to know he's absolutely worth remembering. Worth prioritizing."

"You're right. Alright, we'll do it," Eliza agrees. "Next week. Remind me to call Maria and give her a heads up."

John hopes for the best the next week. He really does. Maybe the shock of forgetting _twice in one day_ has had an impact, and Alexander will be on time.

He realizes quickly that's not going to be the case. The man drops his son off with the same cheerful smile as always. "John, how are you?" he asks as he signs Pip in.

"Doing well. There's my jelly bean!" John laughs, standing as Phillip rushes toward him and patting the child on the back when he wraps his arms around John's waist.

"D'you want to see the flower I made in art this week? Daddy was so late I got to make _two!"_ Pip tells him, chattering happily.

John cuts a disapproving glare toward the other man, who shrugs sheepishly and tries for a disarming smile. "At least you're not the only one I run late getting him from!" he offers.

John seethes. "At least when you're late here, I know he's with me and safe," he tells Alexander severely.

Alex's jaw drops in shock. "I wouldn't sign him up for a class anywhere that wasn't safe," he promises, defensive but also a little pleading. It's clear that, smooth talker that he is, he's unused to having someone _stay_ angry with him. Maybe consequences he can’t talk his way out of are just what Hamilton needs- hopefully tonight will be a wakeup call.

John’s expression doesn't budge. "I hope not," he says darkly, before brightening his smile and turning back to Pip. "I'd love to see your flower, jelly bean!" he tells the child.

Pip gets both sheets of construction paper out of his backpack, beaming. He's fingerprinted flowers onto the page, and someone has added green stems. They're adorably charming, just like the child himself. And his infuriating father.

"Daddy's gonna hang one on the fridgie-menator! We just forgot," Pip confides.

"Wow! That's a special spot. What will you do with the other one?" John asks, smiling supportively.

Phillip wrinkles his little brow, seriously considering the question. Then he lights up. "Right here!" he decides, climbing up John's chair to push the picture against the inner wall of his desk.

It's a reception style desk, so between the part where sign in sheets go so people can reach them standing and the lower desk where John actually works is a panel where the schedule and emergency numbers are affixed. John could, theoretically, attach the picture- but he's not sure if that would be overstepping.

"You sure, Pip? There's nobody special you want to give it to?" he asks. He looks questioning at the boy’s father, expecting him to object and move Pip along. Alex just shrugs, giving him another charming smile.

"You _are_ special!" Pip tells him firmly.

"He's got you there," Alexander agrees.

"In that case, I'd be honored," John says, swinging Pip up onto the desk and getting the tape. "Now, where's the perfect spot, jelly bean?" he asks.

Pip's tongue sticks out in concentration as he tries several spots, before placing it on the far side of the phone. John tapes it in place with an approving nod. "Perfect," he declares, tapping Phillip's nose with his finger as he says, "Now, I'd better let _you_ get ready for class! Tell your daddy bye!"

He swings Phillip down, and the sweet little boy hugs his father before going to join Eliza and the other early arrivers for his class.

Alexander smiles at him awkwardly once his son is gone. "Well, um, I'd better go, so I've got time to get some work done," he says, sounding slightly flustered.

"We'll see you at 6:15, Mr. Hamilton," John says. It's a gentle reminder, and Alex nods before leaving.

But 6:15 comes and goes. Pip comes out of class, but there's no sign of Alex. As has become their routine, John lets the little boy climb into his lap to keep him company. Today, though, he says, "What do you think about hanging out with me a while, jelly bean? Just until your Daddy finishes and remembers to come get you?"

Pip nods enthusiastically. "Maybe he'll get all his work done and he can read me an extra story tonight!" he says.

John agrees, smiling. He sets Pip up with his coloring book at the end of the desk and checks in the next class.

But Pip is still busily coloring away when the class finishes. John sighs. "You hungry, jelly bean?" he offers.

"Yes, please!" Pip says, smiling at him.

"What do you say I have McDonalds bring us some dinner?" John offers. He might as well get poor Pip a new toy for the desk, while he's getting food.

In fact, he orders himself a kids meal as well. He's not particularly hungry, and this way they'll have two of whatever the Happy Meal toy is this week. Pip _loves_ that they're having the same dinner. John tries to ignore the fact that his own lack of appetite comes from the twisting feeling in his gut, remembering the many days _he’d_ been the last one waiting for a parent somewhere, and worrying that behind Pip’s cheerful facade the same wounds are forming.

Their food arrives and is eaten during the jazz class Eliza teaches to a group of teens. Pip remains nonchalant, excitedly devising games for their new toys and playing the puzzles on his Happy Meal box, but John is growing steadily more upset.

It's after 8:00, dinner is eaten, and the new Happy Meal toys are played with by the time Eliza's last class finishes and she comes out into the lobby.

Her face falls when she sees the two dark heads bent together over the desk. "Still working?" she asks, trying to keep her tone light.

"Yeah," John says, anger making his voice choppy. Pip looks up, concerned, and John strokes the boy's hair reassuringly.

"I'll be in my office if you need me," Eliza tells him.

"You're not leaving? I can lock up," John offers. "Or we can give up." He’d thought Hamilton was different- distracted, rather than indifferent. Now, he’s thinking the man is all out neglectful.

"No, at this point I'm a-n-g-r-y," she spells, so the child busily coloring between them doesn't catch on. "And if I leave you to deal with him alone, who knows if there'll be anything left?" she points out. "We'll keep each other calm."

Pip starts fading around 8:30. "When's your usual bedtime, jelly bean?" John asks as the young boy climbs back into the desk chair with him to curl up with his face buried in John’s neck..

"Whenever we 'member," Pip tells him tiredly. "Sometimes we don't, and I fall asleep wherever and wake up in my bed! 'Cept a coupla times I fell asleep playing and woke up in my toys," he confides.

John has the idea that children this young need structure and routine. He sighs. "Well, I can't promise you'll wake up in your bed, but how about we make you a nest for now? I'll stay with you. It can be like camping," John offers.

"Does camping have books to read at bedtime?" Pip asks seriously.

"I don't have any books, but I can tell you a story. Or sing you a song!" John offers cheerfully.

"Ooh, song! I want a song!" Pip decides.

"Whatever you want, jelly bean!" John assures him. Pip puts his toys away while John shuts down the desk and lights and locks the front door, taking the desk phone with him to the back. He doesn't want anyone wandering in, and they'd usually be closed at this hour. Alex has the number, when he finally shows up.

"But how'da I brush my teeth?" Pip realizes when John takes him to the bathroom.

Luckily, John's orthodontist instilled _very_ good habits. He brushes after every meal, and because that's not always feasible on a college student's schedule, he has disposable, waterless toothbrushes in his backpack.

"Check it out, jelly bean!" he says, offering Pip one. He sets the little boy on the counter beside him and they brush their teeth together.

“Wow, this is _so cool!”_ Pip tells him, captivated. John is just glad Pip seems to be treating the day as an adventure, rather than feeling abandoned. It’s not going to spare Hamilton his wrath when he finally shows up, but at least his little experiment in accountability hopefully hasn’t scarred the kid.

Teeth brushed and faces washed, Pip takes his hand as John leads the boy back to the small practice room where the tumbling mats are stored. John makes a makeshift bed on one, using a stuffed ballerina hippo that usually sits in the corner as Pip's pillow and handing over his own hoodie as a blanket.

"Song time?" he offers.

"Song time!" Pip says, excitement giving way to sleepiness as he snuggles into the hoodie, clutching the sleeve and bringing to this face.

John sings every lullaby he can think of and one Lady Gaga song, stroking Pip's hair as the kid drifts off. Once he's sure Pip is asleep, he kisses the child’s head gently, adjusting the jacket to cover him better.

The window into the well lit hallway provides some light in the dim room, but not enough to read by. And he's afraid his laptop would be bright enough to wake Phillip. So John is studying the lecture notes his Government teacher had emailed out on his phone when he falls asleep. He wakes up some time later when he feels the phone vibrate in his hand. Eliza is calling.

Moving slowly, so as not to disturb Pip, he eases into the hall and answers the call. "What's up?" he whispers.

"Alex just called. Maria's closed, I assume," John blinks. That can't be right! He usually gets coffee there and studies after _they_ close, and he's almost sure the cafe is open till 11:00. His phone tells him it's 11:17 now. Hamilton is over five hours late.

"I'm going to kill him," he says, rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Are you really? Because I might actually hit him if I see him right now. He called me in a panic because he got here and the front was dark. I assume you boys are in the back, but I couldn't leave my office without walking past the doors, and I truly think I'd slap him if I let him in," Eliza confides.

John takes stock of his own temper. He's moved past angry and into a kind of protective, deadly calm. Alexander Hamilton is going to remember tonight for as long as he lives, but John thinks he can sear what happened today into the distractible man's mind better verbally than he can with his fists. It's about what's best for Pip, after all.

"I can talk to him," John decides. "I assume he's outside, freaking out?" he checks.

"He is. I told him you had Pip, and that if he was lucky you'd come let him in and he'd better be ready to grovel," Eliza says.

John takes a deep breath. "Okay, then," he tells his boss.

"Good luck," she says. "And John? This is beyond awful, even for Alex. Especially after last week. Whatever you say or do, I won't hold it against you."

"Can you come keep an eye on Pip?" John asks. "I'm going to have a long chat with his father, and I don't want him waking up alone in a strange room and being scared."

"On my way. You can use my office," his boss tells him.

John walks down the hallway to the lobby, meeting Eliza where her office meets the beginning of the hall. She's sticking to the shadows against the wall, apparently avoiding Hamilton, who appears to be standing at the doors, slumped.

Eliza stops him long enough for a quick hug. "You can do this," she tells him, squeezing his hand as she releases him. "Remember, try not to hit him. You'll just feel bad afterwards and let him off the hook."

John is fairly sure nothing could get Hamilton off the hook after this stunt. That belief holds even when he unlocks the studio door and realizes the man is crying. "Where is he?" Alexander begs.

"He's fine. He's sleeping. 'Liza's watching him, because you and I need to have a talk, Hamilton," John says, holding firm in his measured fury even in the face of the other man falling apart in front of him. He holds the glass door to the studio open for Alexander, who ducks his head as he walks inside.

"I just- the studio was locked, and I didn't know where he could be- he's okay?" Alexander pleads as John relocks the door, taking the moment to take a breath and steel himself not to lose his temper.

John steers the other man toward Eliza's office as he answers. "He's fine. I fed him dinner, we played, he got sleepy so I helped him brush his teeth, tucked him in, and sang to him. And now he's fast asleep being watched over by Eliza, completely unaware of what time it is or how badly you fucked up."

"I'm so sorry," Hamilton whimpers.

"You should be. I'm not sure I should even be putting him back in your care," John says furiously. "Do you know the _only_ reason I'm not calling CPS right now? Because that little boy thinks you hung the Sun, the Moon, and all of the stars. He doesn't just love you, he adores you. You're the center of his world. And I'm hard pressed to find any proof he's even a consideration in yours."

Hamilton's eyes, still wet with tears, flash furiously. "Don't you _dare_ tell me I don't love my son," he says, pushing into John's space.

"Love is only half the equation, Hamilton. I never said you didn't love him. I said you don't _consider_ him. All the good feelings in the world don't make up for the tangibles when they get forgotten. Love is hugging him and telling him he's precious to you. Taking care of him is another matter entirely. That's _making sure he's fed and safe even when it's inconvenient._ Do you even know what that looks like? Because tonight, it looked a helluva lot like tucking him in under a hoodie and falling asleep sitting up, studying for a test, because I didn't want him to be alone. It looked like _factoring his need for food and sleep and attention into my plans for the evening._ And he got that from me, not you," John thunders.

Hamilton slumps heavily into a chair. "I love him so much." he pleads.

"Then stop saying it like it excuses anything when you've already fucked up and start acting like it instead," John says harshly.

"I'm the only parent he's got. I've got to juggle it all." Hamilton is trying to make excuses. John doesn't bite.

"From what I've seen, he's bouncing from concerned adult to concerned adult, with stop offs for hugs with you in between. Me. Eliza. Lafayette, Hercules, Peggy, and especially Aaron. His art teacher and the piano teacher even. Probably countless others, who are picking up the slack. Like I did tonight, when you were _five hours late,"_ John scolds furiously.

"You could've called," Alexander tells him petulantly.

"Oh, is Pip my responsibility now? I thought he was yours," John challenges.

"I'd never let anything bad happen to him," Alex insists. "I only leave him with people I trust. He knows I love him."

"Just because there haven't been consequences yet doesn't mean the way you're acting is okay," John insists.

"I'm doing my best!" Alex cries. John is suddenly, achingly sure that it's the truth, however little that helps. "I can't keep _anything_ in my head when I've got a project. I lose all sense of time and where I am. It's not just with work, I do it with Pip too. We'll be playing and suddenly half the day is gone. When I do something, I do it so completely my brain can't do anything else," he confides miserably.

"Hyperfocus. So you adapt. Set alarms or something," John suggests.

"Don't you think I've tried that? I turn them off without even registering them and keep working. I have a bunch set at home for in the morning, to keep us moving so we aren't late. But those only work because Pip knows what they mean and helps me remember," Alex confesses miserably.

"I admit, I've wondered how you ever get anywhere on time," John tells him. "If you can't do it all yourself, _get help,_ man. Don't just accept that you're going to fuck up and count on us to fix it. Get help so you _don't_ fuck up, before you fuck _him_ up."

"Where am I supposed to find help? I'm the only parent he's got. I don't date, because if I get focused in on a boyfriend or girlfriend, what happens to Pip? I won't let another person matter more than him," Alex says.

"That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say," John says wonderingly.

"I'm actually kind of a genius," Alex says with a haughty sniff.

"I don't doubt it. You're also an idiot," John tells him. The father ducks his head, but doesn't argue the point.

"I'll figure something out, I promise. Now can I take him home?" Alex pleads.

John relents. Hopefully, this has at least given Hamilton something to think about. "They're in the small practice room," he admits, opening Eliza's office door and leading the way.

Pip is still fast asleep when they quietly let themselves into the small room. Hamilton turns away to choke back a sob when he sees that his son really is okay and sleeping peacefully. John looks back at him briefly, concerned, then kneels to jostle Phillip’s shoulder gently. Hamilton pulls him back.

“I don’t want him to know how late I was,” he whispers desperately.

“He can’t tell time, Alex. He’s five. And he’s not going to wake up enough to register what’s going on. But we need to get him up enough that you can carry him home. How far is it? Do you drive?” John asks.

Alex frowns. “No. I don’t think I can carry him down the steps to the subway,” he realizes.

“I’ll hail a cab,” Eliza promises, stepping out to do so.

“Can you get your bag, his bag, and him?” John realizes. They’re still whispering, but he’s kind of amazed Pip hasn’t woken up yet.

Alex frowns, slumping. “I should be able to. But I’ve had a _lot_ of coffee, and then when I realized how late it was, I was so scared.... I’m shaky. I don’t want to drop him.”

“I’ll take the cab back with you and carry the bags, then get the subway from there,” John decides.

“Thank you,” Hamilton breathes, grateful.

John nods at him, then turns back to Pip. “Wake up, jelly bean. Time to go home,” he whispers.

Pip sits up, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. “Mommy?” he asks.

John looks at Alex, surprised. He hadn’t thought Pip _had_ a mom. The other man shrugs, looking baffled.

“No, it’s John, sweetie,” he says carefully.

“I know,” Pip tells him. John is beginning to wonder if he’s really awake or not.

“You called me Mommy, jelly bean,” he explains.

“I did, ‘cause you’re like a Mommy,” Pip says, sitting up and wrapping his arms around John’s neck. John stoops over a little more where he’s kneeling to help him. “Hi, Daddy,” the child adds softly, sounding almost shy when he sees his father over John’s shoulder.

“Hi, pumpkin. How is John like a Mommy?” Alex asks, obviously curious.

“Gotta admit, I’d like to know too,” John agrees.

"You play with me, and make sure I have food and hang my pictures up and call me silly names and sing me songs at bedtime. And you yell at my daddy when he's bad. Oh, and you give really good hugs. Mommies have to give good hugs. That's all the stuff Theo's mommy does. So I think you're a mommy," Pip decides seriously.

John considers this, feeling himself tear up. "You have a point, jelly bean. I hadn't thought of it that way," he says, his voice tight as he tries not to cry. Pip nods, apparently satisfied. John resists the urge to hug him tight and never let him go. He’s going to be the best Mommy the world has ever seen.

"Are you done yelling at Daddy?" Pip asks.

John chuckles. "I am. I did that before we woke you up."

"Okay, if you're done yelling at Daddy, it's time to go home. That's the last thing we do at dance class," Pip decides. The adults share a significant-horrified- look. How has the poor kid gotten _that_ used to Alex forgetting him?

“I’m going to help you guys get home, okay? So you can go back to sleep if you want to,” John offers, bundling the little boy up in his hoodie before passing him gently to Alex, who helps Pip sleepily settle his legs around his father’s waist.

“Okay,” Pip says tiredly, fisting the cord of the hoodie in one tiny hand.

Eliza has a cab ready when they make it out, Alex holding Pip and John holding all three of their bags. She smiles indulgently, stroking Phillip’s hair as they pass her.

"Bye, Auntie 'Liza!" Pip says, waving to her as he snuggles further into his father’s shoulder.

Pip is out cold again by the time his dad has given the cab driver their address. It’s in a good neighborhood, a brownstone not too far from John’s own apartment. He may just walk home, in fact. He’s got a lot to think about.

“I’m so sorry, Pip,” Alex whispers into his son’s hair once they’re moving.

“He loves you. And he knows you love him. He’s still young enough that, if you fix this now, he won’t grow up wondering why he wasn’t important or enough. You can fix this,” John tells him, patting the other man’s arm awkwardly.

“Thank you.” Alex looks at him with heartbreaking gratitude. “For keeping him safe. For ripping me a new one and making me realize what I’m doing to him. He’s lucky to have you. We both are.”

John doesn’t know what to do with the thanks, so he smiles awkwardly. “Anything for my jelly bean,” he says.

The cab pulls to a stop, and they navigate getting out awkwardly. Alex manages to stand with Pip in his arms without waking the boy, but he can’t reach his wallet. John shifts all of his bags to his left hand and digs out his own. “I’ve got it,” he assures the other man. It was only a few blocks, after all.

He pays and tips the cab driver, then joins Alex on his front steps. “The keys are actually in the front pocket of my laptop bag,” the father tells him sheepishly. John fishes them out, holding them up for Alex to point out the right one and unlocking the door.

“1776,” Alex tells him, gesturing to the alarm code. John decides to wait for another day to explain to Alex that he really can’t give his alarm code out to random receptionists he meets. They’ve been over enough important things for the night. He disables the alarm and drops the bags near the door.

“I’ll let you get him to bed,” he says, leaning forward to press a kiss to Pip’s head. “Sleep well, jelly bean.” He’s surprised when Pip blinks at him slowly, apparently at least somewhat awake.

The child leans in to hug John, kissing his cheek. "Love you, Mommy! See you next week!"

John chuckles, shaking his head. “Yeah, Mommy. Thanks for everything. We’ll see you next week,” Alex echoes, and John can’t help smiling at him.

“You boys take care of each other for me, okay?” he says, looking between them. They both nod solemnly and John lets himself out the front door and begins his walk home. The Hamilton boys have given him plenty to think about as he walks.


	2. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex apologizes, but that doesn't mean he's going to do any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, please go read withlove_sid's story, Ballet of Sunshine, which inspired this one! Sid is an awesome friend and could use the love.
> 
> Also, thank you all for your support, and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a great one! (Now I'm wondering about Alex and John's Thanksgiving plans for Pip....)
> 
> EDIT, PLEASE READ:  
> There are two ways this could go. Spanking or not. I was leaning toward not, but apparently this fic reads as yes. So, readers, which would you rather? Nothing is set in stone yet, about that. I'd rather go the way people want to read.

The next day, John finishes his classes and arrives at the studio to find a huge vase of flowers on his desk. “Somebody having a birthday?” he asks Eliza.

“They’re for you,” she says, looking harried. “I didn’t read the card. There was a package, too.”

He opens the card, surprised. He can’t think of anyone who would be sending him flowers.

“To Mommy. Thank you for taking such good care of Pip, and yelling at Daddy when he’s bad. Love, the Hamiltons. P.S. You’ve got my cell number, if you want to yell at me again when it’s  _ not _ the middle of the night. I know I deserve it.”

John just stares at the arrangement, baffled. The heavy, square cobalt blue glass vase is stuffed to bursting with roses and other flowers John loves the smell of but can’t name. Apparently, Hamilton apologizes as big as he fucks up.

He opens the box next. It’s plain, with no logos or address to give a clue as to where it came from. It’s full of art supplies- Prismacolor pencils and Copic markers and a large, gorgeous sketch book with a nice leather cover. There’s also another note.

“I asked ‘Liza what you might like and she was no help, but Pip says you love to draw and you’re very good, and every artist I’ve ever known has liked drawing supplies, so I hope you like these. If not, I included a gift receipt. Get something you’d prefer! Alex”

John stares at the box in shock, fingers absently stroking the soft leather cover. He  _ absolutely _ can’t accept these things. He’s still staring when Eliza walks back out a few minutes later, escorting the building handyman.

“Sorry, one of the toilets wouldn’t flush this morning,” she says. She looks over the gifts laid out across the desk. “Those both arrived by courier a little while ago.”

“I can’t accept these,” John says, still stunned.

“This is Alex trying to make up. He doesn’t just want you to forgive him- he really wants you to like him. I should know, I spent half an hour on the phone with him earlier today while he shopped online,” Eliza explains, shaking her head fondly.

“Throwing money around doesn’t impress me,” John says flatly, realizing why he’s so bothered. His father had solved problems the same way. Missed John’s high school graduation? Send him to Europe for a month for the summer. Forget the art show he’d entered? Buy him a new iPhone. It had never actually made him feel any better.

“I’ll admit he went overboard, but that’s not what he’s trying to do, truly. Alex grew up poor- he was a foster kid. Now, he’s the absolute best at what he does and paid extremely well for it, and so since he doesn’t have to worry about money anymore he just… doesn’t. He’s not trying to give you sticker shock. If Pip had said your favorite thing in the world was food cart hotdogs, some poor food cart guy would’ve shown up when you started work today with a fresh hotdog. He just did something he thought would make you happy,” she explains.

“But, I mean, flowers? Seriously?” John says, baffled.

“Those are more of a surprise than the art supplies. It’s possible he’s got a crush. He hasn’t said, and I’ve never seen him act this way before, but I promise he’ll respect your boundaries if you tell him to back off,” Eliza assures him.

John shakes his head. “He  _ just _ told me last night that he doesn’t date because he doesn’t want anybody ever becoming more important than Pip, even for a moment. And now he’s sending me roses?”

“He told you that? Wow! Alex talks a lot, but he talks about  _ himself _ very little, in any real way,” Eliza says. “I’d say he almost definitely has that crush. Do you want me to tell him he’s making you uncomfortable?” she offers.

John starts to tell her yes, please. He doesn’t want anything potentially coming between him and Pip’s dad, and messing up his relationship with the little boy. Then he hesitates, and realizes he doesn’t actually  _ mind _ if Alex likes him. He might even reciprocate. Then, he decides that’s absolutely ridiculous, but he can tell him himself.

“He said to call,” John waves a hand at the note with the flowers. “To yell at him again if I wanted, but still. I should probably thank him. I’ll make sure we’re on the same page about our relationship,” he decides.

“Sounds good to me,” Eliza agrees, smiling like she knows something he hasn't yet realized.

John gets set up at the desk and checks the dancers for the next class in before pulling up Phillip’s file and finding Hamilton’s number. He’s strangely hesitant to call. It’s unlikely the man will answer anyway, in the middle of the work day- it’s barely after four. Still, he makes himself dial, refusing to acknowledge how exposed he feels, calling Hamilton from his cell phone. This isn’t about the studio, and it isn’t about Pip. He’s just  _ calling Alex. _

“Hamilton,” a sharp voice answers.

‘Work’ Alex barely sounds like regular Alex. John is almost taken aback. “It’s John,” he says, hesitant.

Alex’s voice changes immediately. “John!” he says, obviously thrilled. Then it’s his turn to hesitate. “Are you calling to yell at me again? Give me a second to close my office door.”

“I’m not calling to yell at you,” John says fondly. “I think you got the idea last night.”

“I did, I promise,” Alex tells him fervently.

“Then I’m done yelling, as long as you don’t do it again,” John assures him.

Alex mutters something that sounds like, ‘So till next week, then?’ but John chooses to ignore it.

“Actually, I was calling to thank you for the flowers. And the art supplies. Both were completely unnecessary,” he says awkwardly.

“I wanted to say thank you. I tried to say thank you, but words just weren’t enough. I hope you like them?” Alex asks eagerly. “Pip helped me pick the flowers, and he said to get you drawing stuff.”

Any thought John has about returning the gifts goes out the window. He can’t disappoint his jelly bean. “They’re perfect. I’ve been doing more digital art lately, it’ll be nice to have a sketch book that makes me  _ want _ to draw again. Pip’s just seen me doodle on my notes.”

“I’m glad you like them.” Alex sounds absolutely delighted.

“Just so long as we’re clear that buying me- and Pip- presents isn’t a substitute for working on your problem with keeping track of where you’re supposed to be,” John says, a hint of sternness creeping into his voice.

“Yes, sir,” Alex says, so quickly John actually laughs in surprise. He’s pretty sure the older man is only half joking.

“As long as that’s understood, I’ll enjoy them with a clear conscience,” John assures him.

“Good, I’m glad,” Alex says, sounding satisfied. He asks a few questions about John's studies, the classes he's taking and how he feels about them. John is surprised how easy the other man is to talk to. When they're done talking about his education, he considers reciprocating and asking Hamilton about his work, then decides he probably shouldn't- he's enjoying the conversation, and Alex's workaholic tendencies are a bone of contention.

John… doesn’t know what to say next. Usually, they just talk about Pip.

“How’s Pip?” he tries.

There’s a pause. “You’re going to kill me,” Alex announces.

“Alexander Hamilton,” John says firmly. There are sounds of frantic movement at the other end of the phone.

“I just remembered, my office door was open when you called because I was on the way to get him from after school. They close in five minutes. I’m at least twenty away by cab.” The background noise indicates Alex is now outside. “Maybe thirty, shit. The traffic is bad, even on foot. I’ve got to get all the way over to a block south of the studio. Shit. I’m usually better about after school, because Pip is scared of the lady who stays if I’m late. He thinks she hates him.” He sounds distraught.

“A block from the studio?” John asks. He stands as he asks, sticking his head in the main studio room and miming to Eliza that he’s going to be away from the desk for a few minutes. “What’s it called?” he asks.

“Morningstar Academy,” Alex tells him. John plugs it into his GPS.

“Call them and tell them to let me have him,” he tells Alex, dropping the ‘Back in Five!’ sign onto the desk and rushing out the door.

“I thought you weren’t going to keep picking up the slack for me?” Alex asks.

“I couldn’t give less of a fuck about you right now,” John tells him harshly, belatedly looking around as he crosses the street to make sure no kids overheard him. “I’m not leaving Pip somewhere, scared and upset, because  _ you _ weren’t paying attention.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll call them right now. I’ll be at the studio as soon as I can,” Alex promises.

“You’d better,” John says darkly, hanging up the call as he spots the sign for Pip’s school.

John has just walked in the front doors and is wondering how he’s going to find his jellybean when a voice calls, “Mommy!” and he turns just in time to be tackled around the waist by a hug from his favorite little boy.

“What’re you doing here? Did you come to see me? Do you want to see my classroom? Can we? Can we? We have a hermit crab!” Pip tells him excitedly.

The (admittedly very foreboding) lady in charge of the children shakes her head at him. “We have parents night’s once a month. There’s one at the end of next week, if your  _ Mommy,” _ she sniffs judgmentally, “wants to see your room. Now, it’s time to go home.”

John scuffs his shoe on the linoleum, feeling like a kid himself under her stern glare. “John Laurens, to pick up Pip. Alex was going to call,” he says.

“I’m surprised. You’re practically on time,” she says, showing him the line he needs to sign to take Pip home.

“Alex wasn’t going to be. I didn’t want Pip to have to wait,” John explains, signing his name. “Now, come on, jellybean, let’s go to the studio, and you can tell me all about your day!”

Pip takes his hand as soon as they walk outside of the school, chattering eagerly the whole walk back. No one has tried to sign in or needed anything while he was gone, thankfully, and John gets Pip set up with his coloring supplies and is back at his post just in time for the first early arrival for the next class.

“Are there lots of other classes here besides mine?” Pip asks, when the sign in rush is over.

“Every day, jellybean. But none of them has anybody as perfect as you!” he whispers, making sure the other kids in the lobby don’t overhear. Pip absolutely lights up.

Eliza comes out to make room for the hip hop teacher who has the next class to get set up and stops short when she sees them. “What’s he doing here?” she asks, confused.

Alex chooses that moment to walk in, thankfully, and she turns her confusion on him instead. “Why are you here? Why is Pip at the desk with John?” she asks.

“I was going to be late,” Alex explains.

“So you called  _ my receptionist?” _ Eliza thunders.

“No… I was on the phone with him. He didn’t want Pip standing around waiting. He’s a little scared of the lady that does after school checkout,” Alex fumbles.

“I was gone eight minutes, tops. It’s just a block over,” John assures her.

“I know where Pip’s school is, I’m the emergency contact when they can’t get Alexander,” Eliza tells him. “And you’re allowed to take a break. You let me know. That’s fine. What’s not fine, especially after yesterday, is that you  _ needed _ to take a break, to go pick up Phillip!”

She’s raising her voice, now, and thankfully the students have gone in for the hip hop class, but the few parents who haven’t cleared out yet are staring.

Pip, also surprised, bursts into tears. “I’m sorry, Auntie ‘Liza!” he cries.

She kneels to hug him immediately. “No, baby, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re allowed to be here with John whenever you and he want you to. I’m mad at your Daddy, not at you and John.” Pip cuddles close to her, but thankfully he’s easily reassured and his tears dry quickly.

“Daddy says daddies buy mommies flowers when they screwed up. Do they buy Auntie ‘Lizas flowers, too?” Pip asks. “We can get you biiiiig sunflowers, like your smile!”

Eliza looks stricken. “Have you been thinking about mommies a lot lately, Pip?” she asks.

“Just sometimes. All the other kids have a Mommy. Jenny even has  _ two _ mommies! And she has a daddy, but he only visits sometimes. I didn’t have a mommy, but it’s okay, Auntie ‘Lliza, I found my mommy!” Eliza pales so abruptly John reaches for her arm to steady her.

“You what, sweetheart?” she asks, her voice faint.

“I found my mommy! It’s John. He takes care of me and hugs me and he sings songs! So it’s okay. And Mrs. Nelson said he could come to Parent Night at school next week! He’s gonna meet our hermit crab,” Pip announces.

John looks helplessly at Eliza, then Alex. “He wanted to show me, and she said we had to come back on Parent Night. I’ll explain why I can’t…”

“I’ll get someone to cover, if you want to,” Eliza offers immediately.

John looks at Alex, wondering if he’ll object. But Hamilton just shrugs at him, guilty and off center. John takes a breath- and is surprised to find himself agreeing. “I’d love to come to Parent Night, jelly bean!”

“I’ll text you the details,” Alex promises. “If you’re speaking to me?” he checks, his tone insecure but hopeful. That charming ‘naughty boy’ smile he counts on to get him out of trouble peeks out, to John’s annoyance.

John takes a deep breath, looking down to gather his thoughts. But his gaze catches on Pip, who is still cuddled in Eliza’s arms looking vaguely upset, and he stops. “I can’t even discuss how upset I am with you right now,” he decides. Not in front of Pip.

Alex looks stricken, and like he’s going to object. But instead of defending himself, he swallows hard and nods. “Come on, Pip. Aunt Eliza and John have work to do,” he says tightly, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Daddy,” Pip tells his father seriously, “You’re not allowed ta wander off when you’re in trouble.”

Alex looks startled. “Pip, that’s not exactly-”

“Tell Mommy you’re sorry and you won’t do it again, and be brave if you get a time out or a spankin’. Then you’ll be forgived,” Pip tells him wisely.

“Pip, honey, I think maybe I messed up too bad to be ‘forgived’,” Alex tells his son, shooting a nervous glance at John.

Pip’s eyes go wide and worried as he looks between them. John is trying to figure out what to say when Eliza tugs his arm. “Pip, buddy, I need to borrow your Mommy for just a second, okay?” she says. Pip nods, and Eliza pulls him into the corner of the lobby.

“Is there any chance you can let him have it and be able to let this go?” she asks. “Alex… doesn’t do well with people freezing him out.”

John splutters. “I’m not ‘freezing him out’. I’m trying not to scream at the man in front of his kid, who just finished crying!” he whispers furiously.

“Take my office, then. Take Pip’s advice. Let him grovel, let him have it, punish him as you see fit, and let’s show Pip that it’s okay,” Eliza coaches. “We’re all kind of a ramshackle family. I didn’t mean to drag you into it, but Pip’s never taken to anyone so fast. You just kind of got rolled in. And finding healthy ways to deal with Alexander’s more outrageous behavior is, sadly, part of being a member of this family,” she says, squeezing his arm supportively.

“Will you lose the security deposit if we get blood on the carpet?” he asks her, trying for a joking tone so that she can see he’s not a complete jerk.

“I doubt it, but I honestly don’t care. I’ll make Alex pay it if he bleeds on my floor,” Eliza says, laughing. “Now, Aaron just got here to use the practice room, and he brought Theo. I’ll take Pip to play with her and then watch the desk while you sort his daddy out.”

John nods, and they return to the Hamilton boys. “Pip, how would you like to go say hi to Theo? She and her daddy got here a little while ago,” Eliza offers.

“Yes!” Pip says. He starts to follow Eliza, then doubles back, putting his hands on his hips and regarding his daddy seriously. “Be good for Mommy and say sorry,” he tells his father, hugging him before running after Mrs. Eliza.

Alex just looks at the floor, once Eliza and Pip are out of sight. John sighs. “Come on. ‘Liza said we could use her office. We’ve made enough of a scene,” he says.

Alex trails him into the office, looking like nothing so much as a naughty little boy. John finds himself half considering taking Eliza’s advice- and following Pip’s recommendations.

Apparently, Alex is of the same mind. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” he says, as if his son’s recommended words are the only ones he can think of. He looks up at John quickly to gauge his reaction, looking down again when he sees the fury his words have inspired.

“Don’t lie to me,” John raps out, deadly serious. “You  _ will _ do it again, because you’re not making any changes to avoid repeating it! You forget Pip and he has to wait somewhere. You panic. Someone makes sure Pip is safe. You apologize, and then the whole thing resets! It’s like living in fucking Groundhog Day, except you  _ never learn!” _

“I’m sorry,” Alex repeats quietly.

“No,” John says heavily. “You’re  _ upset. _ ‘Sorry’ implies you intend to make some effort to  _ do better,” _ he scolds.

“Actually, ‘sorry’ is just about expressing that you regret something, technically,” Alex tells him, sounding like he’s about to begin an etymology lecture. “Regret does not intrinsically imply intent to change.”

“That is  _ not _ the point,” John tells him.

“Words are important,” Alex insists.

“So are the actions that back them up,” John says. He’s about ready to give up. He’s just exhausting himself and upsetting Pip, hoping to change something. Hamilton clearly has no desire to do better- he’s arguing semantics, for Christ’s sake!

He sighs heavily. “Clearly, you have no intention of changing anything,” he says, tired.

“Help,” Alex says, interrupting him forcefully. John stares at him.

“What?” he asks.

“You said to ask for help. I’m asking. Everybody else in my circle, they’re used to me fucking up. They come behind me and help fix it, but it doesn’t surprise anyone anymore. You… you actually think I could do better, and should. Or you did,” he explains haltingly.

“I want to do better, John. I just… I don’t think I can make changes this big on my own,” Alex admits. “I’ve tried and failed so many times. I really did plan  _ so _ hard today to do better. I scheduled a call I knew I’d want to get off of, thirty minutes before I needed to leave. So I was watching the clock and ended the call. Then I got distracted when you called and it all went out the window. And it was okay! Pip is fine! And I know I shouldn’t rely on that, but if I don’t keep reminding myself it was okay, I spiral and I’m no good to anybody. But if I  _ do _ remind myself it was okay, I’m less focused on fixing it the next time.”

John considers him seriously. A moment ago, he’d been ready to write Alex off. Now, he considers him thoughtfully, weighing his words. “You need someone to help you think outside the box on solutions. But you also need help being  _ accountable _ for them,” he decides.

“God, yes,” Alex admits.

“The problem is, I have no earthly idea how to hold you accountable. I’m not going to let Pip be scared or upset when you screw up, just so you have to deal with it,” John admits.

“I mean, he had some suggestions,” Alex reminds him weakly.

‘Be brave if you get a time out or a spankin’,’ Pip had told his father. Heaven help him. From the mouths of babes, indeed.

John really considers all of the surprising things Pip has said over the past two days. Three jump out at him.

First, deciding John is ‘Mommy’. That’s an incredibly sweet, heartfelt statement about their bond. It’s also a heartbreakingly clear statement of  _ need. _ Pip wouldn’t be asking John to  _ be _ his Mommy if he didn’t feel like he  _ needed _ a Mommy. And his definition of Mommy is basically ‘someone who takes care of Pip and keeps Daddy in line’. So even if Pip loves his Daddy desperately and doesn’t  _ blame _ him, Alex’s scattered behavior is starting to get to the kid.

Two, what he’d said about John yelling at Alex being just another step of dance class. Pip comes to the studio. He talks to his friends. He dances. Alex doesn’t come get him. John calls Alex. Pip hangs out with John. Alex rushes in, John (and usually Eliza) yells, and then they  _ do the exact same thing next week. _ Obviously, his verbal displeasure is just part of the status quo- it’s not making a difference.

Third, Pip’s recommendations about his Daddy being in trouble. Telling him he couldn’t wander off when he was in trouble when Alex tried to leave was a clear sign of two things, John suspects. First, that Pip is astute enough to pick up on the tension between the adults, and be bothered by it. And two, Pip  _ wants someone to sort his Daddy out. _ And he’s apparently decided John is the man for the job.

Pip adores his father. But he already sees that sometimes his Daddy just doesn’t seem to be capable of making the grownup decisions to keep them safe. Except instead of white knuckling it and hoping for the best, the way his father does, Pip is on the hunt for solutions, and John is the one he’s found.

John hesitates. Is he willing to  _ be _ the solution the Hamilton boys are looking for? He certainly hadn’t been looking for a ready made family to join. But he loves Pip desperately, and in spite of his sometimes appalling behavior, he’s grown incredibly fond of Alex, too.

Alex sees his hesitation and surprises John by speaking up. “I know how much I’m asking. And I know I have no right to ask it of you. And I won't try to interfere with you two if you want to write me off and just be a safe place for Phillip when he’s here, I understand. God knows I deserve it. But I need help, and I already feel closer to you than I have any right to. So I’m asking, but you’re free to say no.”

“Something’s got to give,” John agrees. “Even if I wanted to pretend I could, I can’t walk away from either of you. So we need to figure out what works.”

“I think you were right, that I need to be accountable to someone else,” Alex tells him.

“I just don’t know how to keep you accountable. The yelling, you tune out. And it upsets Pip. And Eliza already warned me about ‘freezing you out’. I don’t know what alternatives we’ve got,” John admits.

“For what it’s worth, the part of my brain that pays attention to the actual world around me is very upset when you yell at me. It’s just that that part shuts off when I get focused on something,” Alex admits.

“So we need something you can’t shut off,” John agrees.

“That’ll stick with me,” Alex says, making a face. He’s obviously not thrilled at the thought. But John’s pretty sure they’ve both circled back to Pip’s recommendation.

“If I try to put you in time out, you’re going to get to thinking about some problem at work or something and not even realize you’re there,” John says slowly. “But I do think you need some kind of actual consequence, here.”

“Pip told me to be brave if I got in trouble. I think I can do that,” Alex admits, obviously knowing where John’s going with the thought.

“Can we talk about this  _ not _ in Eliza’s office, when I’m supposed to be at work?” John asks. He’s not sure what he’s getting himself into, here, but he knows he’d rather keep it private, for both of their sakes.

“You know where we live. Pip will be headed to bed by the time you’re finished here,” Alex offers nervously.

“That’s on the list, too. Once we get the actually having the child with you when he should be thing solved, making sure the poor thing sleeps and eats on a reasonable schedule is going on the list,” John warns him.

Alex sighs. “I love the goal, I’m just afraid we’re going to reach it when he hits college and starts managing himself without my interference.”

“Let’s shoot for no later than puberty,” John says, allowing himself to unbend enough to smile.

Alex shoots him a shy, nervous smile of his own. “It’s a plan,” he says. “John?” he adds after a moment. “Thank you.”

“You’re both important to me, Alex. We’ll make this work,” John assures him. Alex positively beams. “Now, you guys get home. The last class tonight gets out at eight fifteen, I should be done by eight thirty and at yours before nine. Pip should be in bed by then, right?”

Alex nods. “I’ll make sure he is.”

“Please do. If not, we’ll be adding that to whatever consequence we agree on.” John makes his tone matter of fact- this isn’t up for discussion. His jelly bean is  _ not _ going to keep falling asleep in his toys, not if John has any say in it.

Alex licks his lips nervously. “Got it,” he assures John.

“Then we have a plan. We’ll fix this, Alex. You’re a great father, when you slow down and let yourself be,” John reassures him.

“Thank you,” Alex says softly. He starts to head for the door, then hesitates.

“Go get your kiddo and head home. Text me the address, and I’ll see you later,” John tells him.

Alex goes, turning back to shoot him a searching, nervous yet somehow hopeful look before disappearing down the hall to retrieve his child. John steadfastly ignores Eliza’s eyes on him as he says his goodbyes to Pip and they leave.


	3. Ice Cream and Jelly Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is ready to take Pip home, but first he gets a chance to talk to Aaron and take the 'twins' for a treat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I've updated this. I *have* decided where I want it to go- and that basically centers around these three coming together as a family, whatever shape that takes. I DID post a future!story with these versions of the characters about pie for Thanksgiving, if you'd like to check it out.
> 
> I'm also doing advent!fic in my D/s universe. Many of those stories are not overtly D/s (and the ones that are are marked) so if you're interested in Christmas!fic, check it out. I update with a one shot every day, and I'm writing as I go! I am also planning Santa visit fic for the Sunshine boys, as well.

Alex finds he’s not any less nervous once he’s out of John’s sight. He can’t explain what it is the younger man does to him… he’s not afraid of John. Not at all. He’s  _ fascinated. _ Worryingly so. He hasn’t been this intrigued by another person in a long time. 

Aaron has Theo and Pip practicing cartwheels in the practice room. Whatever he came to the studio to work on, the choreographer has put it aside to keep the two distracted youngsters busy. Burr shoots him a welcoming- and slightly relieved- smile when he lets himself into the little room.

“Daddy! Daddy, I’m tumblin’! Watch!” Pip announces, attempting another cartwheel. He curls his body to avoid ever getting his feet too far from the ground, and essentially puts his hands down, bounces, and stands. Alex applauds.

“Me next, Uncle ‘Lex!” Theo tells him, repeating the maneuver. Hers is much smoother, the result of living with a father who’s a very talented choreographer and thinks exercise is a bonding ritual. He’s been dragged running by the other man often enough to know.

Alex claps for her as well, and Theo curtsies when she comes up. Burr grins at him. “The tumbling twins,” he says with a smile.

“They’ll be running off to join the circus in no time,” Alex agrees. The whole group calls Theo and Pip ‘the twins’, because they were born only a few months apart and essentially raised by the ‘pack’, as Lafayette occasionally refers to the group of roommates, sisters, and friends that grew out of their college years. Aaron was actually married to Theodosia before Theo was born, but they’d been a young couple, and it had fallen somewhere between taking a completely lost Alex under their wing and accepting help because the gang was already doing it for one baby, anyway.

Now, Alex thinks about his own work schedule and Burr’s, and the time the other man has obviously taken out of his practice to watch the kids. On her own, Theo would’ve played quietly. With Pip as well, there was no chance of peace.

“You and Pip headed out?” Aaron asks.

“Think so,” Alex agrees. He looks over- the kids are playing happily, so he whispers, “I was late to after school. John got him for me.” He winces with the confession.

“Pip hates being left at after school. He says the lady is going to eat him. Why didn’t you call? And who’s John?” Aaron asks.

“The receptionist,” Alex admits.

“Eliza had to send her receptionist to go get Pip? How are you still alive?” Burr asks.

“No, I was talking to him when I realized. I didn’t ask him to go… he didn’t want Pip to be upset. He’s amazing with him, Aaron,” Alex confesses.

“Is that what’s got you looking poleaxed? I thought ‘Liza’d had a go at you. She had her ‘someone is not living up to my expectations’ face on when she brought him in here,” Burr asks.

“I’m not. I’m a disaster. I’m getting worse, not better. And yeah, ‘Liza let me have it, but she mostly left me to John to sort out. God, he’s got to think I’m an utter screw up,” Alex realizes. He’d been too caught up in Pip’s potential upset and the trouble he’d caused everyone to think about the other man’s opinion of him earlier.

“If he’s worth knowing, he’ll see what we all see. You’re brilliant, and dedicated, and you love Pip with your whole heart. You’re just… distracted,” Aaron tells him delicately.

“I hope so,” Alex agrees, aware suddenly of just how much he wants John’s good opinion. “So you know…. It scared the shit out of ‘Liza. Pip’s started calling John ‘Mommy’.”

Aaron stares, so Alex elaborates. “He told her he’s found his mommy and I thought she was going to rip someone’s throat out. Pip has apparently been watching Theodosia with Theo and made a list of requirements for a good mommy. John checks all the items- hugs, songs before bed, yelling at daddy when he’s bad,” they exchange a wry look, “so he’s decided John is his mommy, and John is… okay with it.”

“Alex…” Aaron lets his name hang in the air for a long moment. “Why was John  _ around _ to sing Pip songs before bed?” he asks delicately.

Alex hadn’t thought that particular confession through. “I kind of… forgot to pick Pip up last night, and nobody called or reminded me. He tucked Pip in on a mat in here when he got tired,” he confesses.

“Good lord,” Burr says. “If things are getting this bad, you’re juggling too much.”

“I know. I’m trying to figure out how to put some of it down,” Alex admits. “And focus more on what’s important. On that note, we’ve cost you a chunk of work time. Want me to take the twins for i-c-e-c-r-e-a-m?” he offers, wanting to make amends to at least one person he’s upset today. Getting both kids out of the choreographer’s hair for half an hour will let him get some work done.

“That would be great,” Aaron says gratefully. “Bring me back a smoothie?”

“Sure,” Alex says. “Hey, kids, who wants ice cream?” he asks, and is promptly tackled by two very excited children, who are apparently taking ‘we scream for ice cream’ literally. Alex lets them take him to the ground, then gets revenge by tickling them mercilessly until they yield.

“Now,” he says, sitting up, “Let’s go find sugar!”

He takes the kids to the frozen yogurt place just a couple of blocks from the studio and lets them each make their own treat. Pip’s is a worrying mish mash of everything he thinks is interesting, while Theo has carefully selected every pink flavor and topping and combined them all. Both look like sugar comas waiting to happen.

Realizing the foolishness of bringing Theo back to Aaron all hyped up on sugar when he’d meant to give the choreographer time to work, Alex takes them to the small park down the street to burn off some steam. They chase each other and play on the slide, then demand to be pushed on the swings. Alex stands between them, pushing each child with one hand as they work hard to synchronize themselves.

“Are they twins?” A mom with a small toddler, no more than three, asks as her child plays in the sandbox.

“Sort of,” Alex says with a shrug.

“Adopted?” she asks, clearly surprised by his response, taking another look and seeming to realize that Theo is decidedly darker skinned than Alex or Pip.

“He’s mine, she’s my niece,” Alex explains, rather than get into the confusing dynamics of their found family. That seems to satisfy the woman, who is distracted by the realization that her child is about to eat sand.

When the kids are tired, they leave the park. “We need to swing back and get your daddy a smoothie,” Alex explains, leading both of them back to the ice cream shop. “And one of those fancy teas for Auntie ‘Liza. What flavor do you think she would like?” he asks.

Theo, predictably, decides Eliza needs a passion fruit tea, with strawberry pearls. Pip, meanwhile, returns to the ice cream. “We already had ice cream, Pip,” Alex reminds him.

“For  _ Mommy,” _ Pip tells him seriously. “We can’t bring everybody else back treats and nothing for Mommy.”

“Mommy’s not at the studio, Pip,” Theo tells him.

“Not  _ your _ mommy,” Pip explains. “I know Aunt Dosia isn’t there. I meant John.”

“Who’s John?” Theo asks, surprised.

“He checks us in at the studio. And he takes care of me and plays with me when Daddy’s busy,” Pip explains. “He came and got me from school today. You didn’t see, you weren’t at after school. He’s gonna come to Parent Teacher Night and meet Herman!”

Theo “Ooohs” with appropriate excitement about this development, and Pip continues to chatter on about all of the ways John is amazing. Alex hesitates as he gives the disinterested teen at the counter their order. Pip is right, it would be rude to bring everyone else back something and bring nothing for John. But Alex was really hoping to get in and drop Theo off without having to speak to the other man again, in advance of his coming over this evening. He’s already nervous enough.

“We need a soft serve, too,” he says, telling himself not to be a coward. “Pip, go make one for your Mommy.”

Pip does, attempting to draw a smiley face onto the ice cream he picks with syrup and, when that comes out messy, M&M’s. Alex hopes John doesn’t mind little fingers poking his froyo, but when Pip shows it to him, he just smiles, asking for a lid as the kid behind the counter hands him their drinks.

Theo carries her daddy’s smoothie, and hugs them both goodbye before running off to deliver it. Eliza happens to be at the door, saying goodbye to some students, and Alex holds her drink out in front of him like a shield. “We brought you tea!”

“Thank you,” Eliza says, smiling at them both. “How thoughtful! And how nice of you to take Theo out while Aaron was working,” she says, acknowledging his effort with a smile. Alex grins at her, shyly pleased to have gotten  _ something _ right. “And who is that for, Pip?” she asks, seeing that the boy is clutching a cup of soft serve and a pink spoon.

“Mommy,” Pip tells her. “C’mon, Daddy, we gotta give it to him!”

Without further adieu, Pip drags him across the lobby. John is on the phone, so it takes him a minute to look up. When he does, he frowns, and Alex’s stomach shrinks. He’s annoyed to see them again. They’re probably driving him nuts by now.

Pip has no such reservations. “Hi!” the child says excitedly, once John hangs up the phone.

“Hi! How’s my jelly bean? What are you doing back already?” John asks.

“We hadta bring Theo back, and we brought you ice cream! With a special surprise!” Pip tells him.

“Wow, surprise ice cream? That’s amazing!” John tells him happily. “Ooh, it’s a smiley. Is that the surprise?” he asks.

Pip shakes his head, pleased with his secret. John looks askance at Alex, who doesn’t meet his eye but shrugs. He’s honestly not sure what his son could mean. Then John goes to stir the ice cream, to mix the chocolate in, and discovers a hidden pile of jelly beans in the center.

He looks  _ delighted. _ “Jelly beans from my jelly bean!” he says, grabbing Pip up in a hug. “Thank you, sweetheart!”

Alex hadn’t even known they  _ had _ jelly beans. He laughs, amazed by his son’s inventiveness and sweetness. “Come on, Pip, let’s let John get back to work,” he says when the receptionist releases his son. So far, he’s managed not to speak directly to John at all, or even look at him. And John hasn’t said anything either- his attention has been focused on Pip. Alex isn’t sure if he’s relieved or hurt to be overlooked.

“Bye, jelly bean,” John says, then looks at him. “Bye, Alex. Thanks for this,” he says, waving the spoon at his soft serve.

“Welcome,” Alex says, pulling a surprised Pip out the door as fast as he can, the little boy half running to keep up with Alex’s longer legs. Eliza looks concerned as he rushes out, but she’s talking to a parent and can’t stop him.

“Why’re we runnin’ away, Daddy?” Pip asks, surprised, once they’re going down the steps to the subway.

Alex uses swiping them in as a delaying tactic. “I didn’t want to miss the train,” he tells his son.

“Oh,” Pip says, surprised. His father is not generally particularly concerned about train schedules, and indeed there is no train waiting. “I guess we already missed it. Should we go back and say bye again?” the child offers guilelessly.

“No, it’s okay,” Alex assures him. He checks the wait times marquee. “The next train is only a few minutes. Let’s just wait and talk.”


End file.
